Nate Adams rejoice, I am finally updating about something important to drinkers in Philly

According to my drunken source who was at both locations when the liquor control board showed up (first to one, then to the other), both Bob and Barbara's and Tritone were raided tonight and shut down.

Tritone was raided for an expired food license, and Bob and Barbara's was for blocking the fire exit.

Pass it on.

"You call that a life? This is a life!"

Remember that guy who tried to sell his life on Ebay after his wife left him? Turns out none of the top bids can go through with it.

I can't tell if my reaction is "oh you poor kid" or "well, did you really think it would work?"

The article quotes him as saying

"I am very surprised I am the only person out there with a bit of adventure. It is a bit of a shame, but never mind."

So, only six people wanted to buy his terrible life and now they can't take it, so he's entering into denial and assuming its everyone else's fault for not wanting to spend 2 million pounds for a tiny house, a boring middle management job, and friends this guy doesn't seem that upset to lose.

On the Daily Show two nights ago, during the Back in Black segment about how America was being bought by other countries, Donald Trump gives a similar statement about how he's disappointed no American stepped up to buy his ridiculously ugly and expensive property. That's right. It's totally our fault that we don't want your stuff.

I couldn't tell if I wanted to use a picture of the guy or Crocodile Dundee. And then I thought "hey, this is relevant. I would buy Dundee's life."

Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

Bonnie, of the Drexel "Bonnie & Clyde" identify theft case, has pleaded guilty.

As a Lithuanian, I'm glad she's going to jail. Not because of the identity theft, not because of how pretty she is (in fact, I'm rather amused by the suggestion that the only reason this case made national news and they got caught was because the press thought she was really hot and kept running her picture), but because she claimed to be Lithuanian when she wasn't. Apparently she would wear purple contact lenses and tell people that all Lithuanians had purple eyes, and that her Lithuanian background was why she spoke fluent Russian, because all Lithuanians speak Russian.

Anyone with any knowledge of the Lithuanian fight for Independence from the Soviets knows why that last comment made me want to punch her in the face. Yes, a lot of Lithuanians speak Russian, but that's because they had to learn it or they'd get shot. Lithuania has its own language, thank you very much.

I'm extremely proud of being Lithuanian, and dealing with all the things that comes with it (most people not knowing where or what the country is and think I'm making it up [which is why she got away with lying about it. Learn your geography, people. It's in Europe! Europe should be easy!], a built-in fear of big governments, an urge to slap well-meaning college hippy friends who think Communism is awesome and works every time, etc).

I read this morning that "Bonnie and Clyde" got 6 years in jail, but now that I'm at work I can't find any sources to repeat that. Good riddance, I say.

Newsflash: InBev buys Anheuser-Busch for $49.91billion

I'm not sure how I feel about the sudden beer monopoly in America, especially as the new company in charge is based in Belgium. On the one hand, Prague destroyed me, and the only American beers I can stand now are Yuengling and PBR, so this doesn't really affect me.

On the other hand, monopolies in general give me the willies. And Anheuser-Busch's leg-up on the competition was that it was an American-owned company.

I was made fun of yesterday for revealing that I only found out recently (like, in the past few months recently) that Yuengling was a local brew and not a national brand. It's just always been in every bar I've gone to state-side, so I never had reason to think people outside the tri-state area wouldn't be blessed with $8 pitchers of something not brewed by Anheuser-Busch.

Support your local breweries, kids. Fight the monopolies. Drink Yuengling and Victory products. Damn the man, save the Empire, and all that jazz.

P.S. for all you fellow nerds out there, Victory makes a beer called Hoptimous Prime. Be forewarned: my friends love all of Victory's products, but I find them to be too hoppy for my taste, so it depends on your preference. I do recommend (for those of us who don't enjoy the taste of hops) their Golden Monkey.